For Inland military families, fifth anniversary of Iraq war has different meanings

10:00 PM PDT on Tuesday, March 18, 2008

By JOE VARGO and JOSE ARBALLO JR.
The Press-Enterprise

As the United States observes the five-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq today, the date means many things
to those in the Inland area, a region that has lost more than 70 military personnel in Middle East battles.

Residents of Twentynine Palms, where about 160 Marines returned from Iraq on Tuesday, said the war in Iraq
has left them frustrated, tired, a little weary. The faith in their sons and husbands and loved ones remains as
strong as it did when the first shots were fired on March 20, 2003.

For Vickie Castro, of Corona, the date has been hijacked from one of happiness -- she was married on March
19, 1983 -- to one of sadness and frustration. Her 21-year-old son, Jonathan, died days before Christmas
2004 at a mess hall in Mosul, Iraq.

"It was a special day for me," said Castro. "It was the beginning of life I would share with my soul mate. It
reminded us of all the future plans we had made. That has been taken away. It has now turned into
something different."

In Hemet, where the community has paid a disproportionate toll with six deaths, the head of the Air Force Junior
ROTC at Hemet High School said the members of the group do not need a special date to remind them of the
war.

"They think about it all the time," said Col. Fred Strain, senior aerospace science instructor. "There are several
Hemet High grads serving now. Of the 110 kids in the program, I'm sure they all know one or two kids serving
over there."

Members of the 1st Battalion, 7th Marines arrived in Twentynine Palms on Tuesday, fresh off a seven-month
deployment in Al-Asad province, which includes Fallujah and Tirkit. Another 1,000 members will arrive home
Thursday and Friday.

No one died.

Family members waited for their Marines to arrive in a grass athletic complex known as Victory Field. Dozens of
signs welcoming them back adorned the field, the base and the fence leading to the Marine complex.

Alicia Parrish, 20, hung her own banner to welcome home her husband, Marine rifleman Victor Parrish. She is
seven months pregnant with a girl who will be named Arianna.

Parrish said her husband has completed two tours of duty and is scheduled to return to Iraq next year.

"It's hard, it's frustrating," she said. "It's not over yet. You don't know when it's going to end. You just know they're
risking their lives every day."

She said her husband remains gung-ho, and she supports him with the same enthusiasm. But it will be nice to
start their lives for real when his hitch is over, she said.

Tears streamed down the face of Lisa Stiles, 38, of Dallas, when she spotted her son, Lance Cpl. Rick Stiles.

She said she is not deterred by reports critical of the conduct of the war, or whether it was even necessary.

"He's doing what needs to be done," Stiles said. "That's why he volunteered in the first place. He's brave, he's
served our country. All of the guys are doing what America needs them to do."

Second Lt. Ford Shaw III, of Basking Ridge, N.J., said he had predicted the action around Ramadi where his
platoon did most of its work would be more intense. Instead, things were unusually quiet as Iraqi Army and
police forces took major steps to bring security and stability to the region. During his tour of duty, Marines
opened a bridge over the Euphrates River that had been closed for years. Bazaars are well stocked, restaurants
open every night.

A Grim Toll

Dad Ford Shaw Jr., 56, said he thinks most Americans don't understand the cost of the war five years later.
Almost 4,000 Americans have been killed, another 29,000 wounded.

"It frustrates me," he said. "Ask most Americans how many people have been killed, and they probably don't
know."

In Corona, Castro recalled her son, a Corona Centennial High School graduate and combat engineer. He had
served his three years and was awaiting his discharge when it was put on hold and he was sent to war.

She is a member of Gold Star Families for Peace and Military Families Speak Out, two national anti-war
organizations formed by the loved ones of those killed in the war and those who have served and are still
serving. The years since her son's death -- he was the couple's only child -- have been made more difficult,
Castro said, because the rhetoric surrounding the conflict has not changed and those who criticize the war
have been labeled unpatriotic.

The focus of the media and public has moved on to other things, she said, such as the latest celebrity gossip.

"The media is more interested in Britney Spears and what someone from Obama's group said about
Hillary's group," she said. "You see and hear very little about what is really going on."

Castro, a teacher at Centennial, said she hopes society has learned something in the five years since the
start of the war, but she is not sure it has. Either way, Castro said, she does not plan on attending the
protests planned for today.

"I'm going to bow out this year's," she said. "I've always been there. But not this year. It's my (25th)
anniversary."

Reach Joe Vargo at 951-368-9289 or at jvargo@PE.com
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For Inland military families, fifth anniversary of Iraq war has different meanings